Gurpgork from Archer

(Surprise) Guest post by Michael Len.

Julia and I recently got caught up with Archer on Netflix, and Julia – loving all things stupid and stupid – took a liking to Gurpgork.

Gurpgork is a reference to Archer, S4E6: Once Bitten. Archer is bitten by a poisonous snake in Turkmenistan and is brought to a native tribe to find an antidote. However, it turns out that in Turkmenistan the word for ‘poisonous snake’ is Gurpgork, which happens to also be the word for many other things.

In the confusion, Cyril tried to draw a representation of the snake, which did not turn out very well.


The tribe thought they were talking about Gurpgrok (bread), but after seeing Cyril’s drawing, they came up with this…


This bread with eyes was a great punchline, and also looked pretty easy to make! Since Julia recently gifted me a plush based off of a stupid concept, I decided I wanted to make a plush Gurpgork as a surprise gift for Julia.

I first made the bread shape with beige fleece.

I forgot to take the full-sized fabric picture.

Unfortunately this was my first time using a sewing machine, so the bread had some kinks…

Sewing is hard…

The second big piece was the eyeballs. Fun fact: Jo-Ann can cut as thin as a 2 inch segment for you to buy!

The Jo-Ann cutter looked at me funny for this piece.

I made little baseball-built olives (or Gurpgork eyes), out of two hourglass-shaped pieces of this brown fabric. I made the pits of the eyes using plush animal eyes I tore off another animal :3

They might be a little lopsided.

After a little hand-sewing magic… Tada! A completed Gurpgork!


However my final stitches still need a little bit of work. Also, I might have overstuffed, he’s bursting at the seams!


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Pattern created by MICHAEL LEN!